ctattianahh:

Received this badboy in the mail last week. Still haven’t been able to read it since we had guests over on the weekend, I’ve had to study for a midterm, and finally felt like writing something, myself.

Will be sure to post a review once I’m finished.

For those of you who haven’t heard of Travis or his amazing writing skillz, go check him out at apocalypsecomingbooks. Also check out the reviews for his latest novel on Amazon, buy yourself a copy, and then tell your friends all about it.

Although I’ve yet to read Lost In Infinity, there is no doubt in my mind that it’ll be brilliant.

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THANK YOU! I hope you enjoy it!

Maiden Embrace

He shuffles his feet side to side and watches the hoards pass him by with their own agendas driving them forth like cattle crossing a stream. Each face that passes bears its own emotional story. He looks at all of them and none of them as his mind wonders, floating up and mingling through the hanging florescent fixtures. He fumbles in his pocket again for the cell phone that runs his life, shifting weight to extract it from his khakis. He drops his backpack to the ground beside his leg and brings the screen to life.

He lets out a breath. The time has changed. The moment grows nearer but not near enough.

Back into his pocket he shoves the phone with a huff. He’s not angry, he realizes that. He knows it’s just nerves. The moment approaches and he waits. The hustle and bustle of the flowing travelers picks up and dies off as if there were invisible traffic lights at the top of the escalators. He pulls the phone free for the hundredth time and checks it for messages.

Nothing.

He readjusts his luggage and gathers his belongings as he looks around for a place to sit. Movement and relocation takes his mind off of the coming events but only for a brief second. Down against the wall, he feels the breaks in the tile against his spine. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. His hand, holding the green plastic bottle he’d picked up on his layover starts to twitch. The taste of cotton balls and cobwebs gets washed away before he screws the lid back on and straightens his legs. A new herd of travelers hurries down the escalator each pushing through the next with someplace they’d rather be.

He recalls the break in monotony when he moved to the wall and decides to change the lull once again, this time venturing back to where he began so he can have an unobstructed view of her arrival. A new rush of people halts his migration so he scopes his present locale and takes up shop. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

“What time is it now?” he asks himself aloud as he goes fishing for electronics once again. Before he can awaken the screen he catches a glimpse of her hair as she walks by. His heart starts to pound so loud she must be able to hear it. He takes a step then remembers his luggage in a moment of clarity brought on by the fear of being without clean clothes for the next few days. He turns on his heel and collects the Samsonite montage as the sweat beads on his forehead. His hands start to shake under the weight of the carry-on or so he rationalizes against the butterflies building in his gut. The only thing audible is the rush of blood through his ears as the sea of blank faces rages and crashes all around him. The whole of the world slows, but he, unobstructed, presses forward toward her flowered dress. 

Three steps separate them as she turns to read the sign behind him. Their eyes meet. He quickly looks past her at the sign overhead showing departure and arrival updates. The three steps become tow, then one then quickly three again as they pass each other. He exhales and steadies himself, taking a glance over his shoulder at the girl he nearly grabbed. She was not his.

The embarrassment avoided calms his nerves. He gathers his worldly possessions again with ease and starts on the familiar path back to his perch at the end of the escalators. One more check on his iPhone followed by another five clicks of the analog clock hanging overhead and his pocket starts to vibrate. He pulls out the cell and fumbles with the touch screen.

“I’m here,” it reads.

As he shoves the phone back into his pocket with his right hand he looks up to scan the approaching crowd with renewed purpose.

Through the mass of weary travelers she shines, desaturating the rest as if she were stuck in film noir. Her smile radiates below her massive sunglasses. The flash of teeth in her bright smile seems to scream out against the soft pattern on her summer dress. Time slows as he takes in her brilliance flowing down the stairs inch by inch. He wants to remember this moment so he can relive it when he closes his eyes and beckons the dreams to bring them together again. He sits the luggage down and plants his feet, willing them to hold so that she can come to him, out away from the crowd.

She reaches the floor and pauses, looking left then right. His smile draws her attention to his gaze only to be dwarfed by hers in comparison. She changes directions and walks quickly toward his trembling figure. He watches her fight each and every step, trying to maintain her form and refrain from breaking into a run. Breathe in, breathe out.

Their worlds collide as he takes her hand and she reaches for his arm. The sound of the crowd surging by falls away as they wrap each other in their maiden embrace. He can feel her heart pounding through her chest as he presses her close. Not a word is spoken as they relish the moment and control their excitement to socially accepted levels. His hand leaves the small of her back and gently moves her hair from her ear. Their eyes lock, her lips part and in that one caress he gives her a piece of his heart.

Encounter

Link: Encounter

His heart’s racing. In this moment the need to wrap his arms around her and take in her essence outweighs even the need to breathe.

She stands by his side quietly, the anticipation of contact flashing in her mind, but the fear of the outcome holding her shy.

Her smell lingers in the air as she makes her way into the room ahead of him. He stops, closes his eyes and steadies himself for the steps he’s willing himself to take. One foot in front of the other, he follows her through the door. Her scent parts like a tide, then rushes back, clinging to him like butterflies in the rain. He closes his eyes once again and draws in a calming breath full of her. One foot in front of the other. He opens his eyes only to be mesmerized by the sway of her stride and the rise and fall of her ass as she saunters past the bed and on toward the window.

She reaches the window and looks out at the city below. She pretends to admire the architecture or appreciate the activity below, but it’s only a front. Her mind is running circles around the situation. She dares not move or look back at him. She realizes that he has to take the first step or she’ll feel like she pressured the situation. She hugs herself and directs her emotions inward. He’s behind her, she can feel it. She waits.

He walks past the bed, and slows as the distance between them becomes manageable. He draws out every step and lets the gravity between them close the gap itself, pulling him to her on an invisible thread. Looking down he notices her turning her left foot inward until her toes meet.He looks down and behind him for her sandals, he hadn’t noticed her take them off.

She enjoys the tickle of the carpet on her bare skin as she curls her toes through the berber, kneading it with her tiny appendages. She glances down to admire her handy work and sees her own reflection in the gloss of her toenails.

He takes the last step toward her before a flash of sunlight glimpses his eye, reflecting off of her green toenails. The distraction takes his mind off of the last few inches and he presses his torso against her back without pretense.

The warmth of his body against hers is inspiring. She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and a smile she didn’t know she was suppressing. The moment she feels the first beat of his heart, her body shivers and the butterflies in her stomach explode upward and outward, leaving her to cling to him.

He leans his face into her hair and enjoys her bouquet. The moment takes over and he touches her bare arms tenderly, their fingertips dancing along each other. He continues the touch around until he has her wrapped in his arms. Back her head goes, resting against his shoulder, giving herself over to his charm.

Tighter, he squeezes. Safer, she feels. They live in that moment as time stops and the world falls away to nothing.

Stepping into Darkness

This originally appeared on my old blog…

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The edge of nothing. Carefully, not that it matters at this point one way or the other, I curl my toes south, feeling for the concrete line in the sand. Straight forward, my eyes open and I feel his gaze upon me. Judging curiously behind tinted glass, frozen in the moment. His slack jawed awe fuels my inner concession. The papers in his hand slip from his grasp and free fall to the berber below, catching a ride back and forth on the resistance of the very same concoction I’m about to brave. My brain hiccups, my throat tightens and my lip curls to a smile in anticipation of the freedom before me.

“Step forward into the vast abyss,” my mind prompts me. I obey.

I close my eyes and the final song starts to play. Building slowly from a faint steady rhythm of 16th note high hats… bass on the downbeat…. blackness engulfs me and an army of butterflies stir to life… snare on the upbeat… the ocean tide crashes in my ears.

I open my eyes at the crescendo and focus on the papers across the chasm, still drifting helplessly to their next destination. My feet find their way above my head as my inner soundtrack nears the first break.

Refocusing toward my own destiny and the finality of my decision sets in. Time halts and only my stomach contests the change of direction. My smile falters then continues past it’s obligatory equator. The music stops. The ocean grows louder.

Closing my eyes again I feel my stomach twist itself into slip knot. The black returns, welcoming me inside with the promise of salvation for my bad decisions. Something tugs on my shirt and before I can turn to see, I hear the voice of my son.

“Are you ok, Daddy?” He sits down on the floor in front of me, smiling a toothless grin. I try to answer but can’t. The words are stuck, fighting to break free, tearing a hole on my throat… yet there effort is pointless.

Sitting up on the couch I swing my feet to meet the sand below.

The waves continue to crash in a steady drum of confusion. I stand up and take the first obligatory step in their direction. Emerging from the crashing waves, her salt water locks of vibrant red brilliance silence the thunder rolling in on each wave until all I can focus on is the beating of my own heart. Pounding harder with every thrust of blood to and fro I feel like my chest is going to explode. The intense pain and panic curls me in on myself. I close my eyes to escape the siren’s gaze and find solace once again in the black.

The ocean waves are crashing louder. My heart seizes. Silence befalls me.

I risk my sanity and force my eyes open. The sting of 32 feet per second squared bites at my pupils. The flash of concrete racing toward me makes the feeling of freedom experienced only moments before a surreal reminder of how fast I’ve fallen both figuratively and physically. My eyes close around tears, either from the flight or the fear I do not know. It matters not. The black is my new home.

“Welcome home…” drifts in on the last wave, “we’ve missed you.”

“I have no fucking clue what just happened! I was walking to my window about to file today’s Z490 Day Sum when I looked up and saw him step up on the ledge… He… he fucking looked right at me. He smiled. Fuck. He fucking smiled! Who the fuck does that? I’m never getting that image out of my head… FUCK! I mean, c’mon… he just stepped off and pheweeeeewwww down he went. Why the fuck was he smiling?”

I can finally see

Always watching… contemplating… discovering… In this vast empty hole that is life, why do I strive to know the reason why? Before I can answer “why?” I must first uncover the motive… for a question without motive is lust without a target. In my mind’s eye, I spy the reason why. The reason for my search for absolution. However the explanation comes at the expense of sanity, my own… the meaning of life is right before me, in my mind’s eye… open it and I shall see. The meaning is the question. The question is the reason. The reason is the motive. The motive is the end. Opposite the end, there was a beginning, and in the beginning let there be light, the bright light that blinded the eye. Now, here in the vast darkness, I can finally see.