Monday, October 14, 2013

Scavenger Hunt

My little sister turned 30 on Saturday.  For the last seven years she has been giving me increased shit over my foray into the realm of 'mature adulthood' so when it came time for her to flip her odometer into the life of a thirtysomething, it needed to be commemorated in style.  My 30th birthday was fantastic, marked by a surprise party at my favorite restaurant where my wife secretly brought together a huge group of friends, both past and present, to drink, eat and be merry, all to the sounds of one of my favorite bands, who she had persuaded to headline the shindig.  Not a huge band, one that I'd been working with for a few years through GetOffended, but a damn good band nonetheless who contained guys who quickly became some steadfast and lifelong friends.  I ended up so drunk I knocked over a table after consuming an ill-conceived "Irish CarBomb" using a pitcher of Guinness and a glass with more than 4 fingers of Bailey's and Jameson... all in all, it was a night I'll never forget.  I have my wife to thank for that.  My sister's party needed to be as memorable or more so.  Her husband pulled it off.  Well, he set the thing in motion and her brood of friends pulled it off.  The lack of inhibition or intelligence or both coupled with a complete disregard for law and order and all things considered 'normal' meant this party will always be remembered.  There are tattoos to prove it.

Here is the complete scavenger hunt rules and checklist as it was supplied to the party... trust me, nearly everything was completed and/or attempted by at least 2 of the groups.  There were multiple shaved mohawks, two tattoo'd asses, a neighborhood retention pond whose skinny-dipping cherry was popped (did I mention my sister is the neighborhood Homeowners Association President?), a bunch of very confused local patrons, guests at my parents' house who got to see a couple of ass tattoos and a raid on their liquor cabinet, one shaved leg that is going to grow back so disfigured its owner could play a walk-on role in the next "messin' with sasquatch" commercial and a dozen or so cell phones full of incriminating evidence.

Enjoy.  Happy Birthday, sis.

Scavenger Hunt Rules

- The scavenger hunt takes place in the boundaries of XXXXXXXXXXXX County Ohio.
- Scavenger hunt lasts between the hours of 6pm and 9pm. For every 5 minutes a team is late, 5 point deduction.
- Scavenger Hunt teams will be split into teams of 3,4,5… must fit a single car load.
- All team members must be present during the entirety of every checklist item.
- All check list things to complete are under a certain point range, the amount of actual points given for each completion will be determined by the judge after the competition based on creativity, style, team participation and the "holy shit" factor.
- The Judge reserves the right to award bonus points for an achieved checklist item that the team goes extremely above and beyond the minimum requirement.
- All accomplished challenges must be in video or photo form unless items are required

1-2 Point Checklist:

- All team members wear a paper hat from a restaurant
- An orange straw
- A receipt for 83¢ in gasoline
- Teammate standing in a dumpster
- Teammate in a ball pit
- 3 croutons from a grocery store
- 27 catsup packets
- Teammate by the local "Welcome to XXXXXX, Bend Over and Grab Your Ankles" pissed about city tax sign
- A random stranger's autograph
- Teammate pole dancing on a "Main Street" sign
- Entire team sharing a beverage simultaneously.
- Break a raw egg on a teammate's foot.
- A receipt for a glass of water
- Go through a drive-thru and order a "McGangBang"
- Teammate petting a stranger's dog
- Wearing a pair of sandals with socks on
- Fill out and turn in an application at Lowe's or Home Depot
- Teammate in front of a Corvette
- Entire team singing the "Wheels on the Bus" while driving
- 7 Blueberries

3-4 Point Checklist:

- Teammate doing something obscene with a banana
- Shave a male teammate's single leg
- Teammate pumping a random person's gas
- 2 or more teammates in a grocery cart in front of the beer section
- Eat 7 banana peppers from Papa John's
- Drink a full Guinness
- Dress up a fire hydrant
- Make a human chalk outline on a public street
- Go fishing in a public fountain
- Entire team sitting in an electronics section of a store watching a movie
- Arrange fruit in the shape of a face
- Teammate biting a corn procured from a farmer's cornfield
- Paint only the pinky finger of the entire team black
- Whole team crawling through a drive-thru
- Male teammate wearing heels in a public venue
- A piece of currency from the year 1983
- Play hide-n-seek in a clothing section
- Steal a single wiper blade from an opposing team's vehicle
- Make an "I am Cornholio" video
- Team member giving a statue a lapdance (must last more than 20 seconds)
- Locate an out of state license plate.
- Prank call a teammate's brother or sister
- Get the phone number from a random stranger under the age of 30
- 5 French Fries longer than 3"

5-7 Point Checklist:

- Teammate walking barefoot in a river
- A receipt for an eyebrow wax
- Change out the right front tire of your vehicle for a spare
- Prove that you drove more than 50 miles over the course of the night
- Teammate trying on an unbought article of clothing from the Adam & Eve adult store
- Teammate wearing a random stranger's shirt at a bar
- Have a random stranger buy you a drink
- Receive a citation from a police officer for having too much fun.
- 3 random store employees doing a Charlie's Angels-esque pose
- Entire team humming the Mission Impossible theme while sneaking through a department store
- Make a drink for a bartender at a bar
- A private address with a house number that says, "1983"
- Male teammate dropping pants to ankles while using a public urinal
- Give Ashley's dad a high-five and ask for a drink of water at their house
- Ride a bicycle with helmet and padding inside a department store
- Photo evidence of a teammate the farthest distance away from the party
- Entire team must recite the pledge of allegiance simultaneously inside of the Autozone on Main Street between 7:45pm and 8:00pm
- Teammates must fill pockets with bells and have a foot race through a department store
- At exactly 7pm, pull into the BP gas station on Main Street and the entire team must complete an imaginary NASCAR Pitstop

15-20 Point Checklist:

- Get a permanent tattoo of your name
- Bring a random stranger back to the party to drink after the conclusion of the scavenger hunt. Nobody in attendance can know who this person is.
- 2 or more teammates go skinny dipping in a public locale
- Best alcoholic beverage that any team can bring back for the Judge
- Shave a teammate's head into a 2-stripe mohawk.